fell asleep with contacts make-up unbrushed teeth and full clothing..again
[info]stoffifee
schmeerz

its time to leave again
[info]stoffifee
dear, I wish I could just stay in engelberg for three weeks more or so. hang around, spend time with my family, go out, do sports. I'm not at all ready to start studying. far to much has been happening lately, I'm quite overwhelmed and distraught. but I guess it'll be alright in the end. and if not I just quit and do something else.

Muahahaha
[info]stoffifee
I'm doing exactly nothing at the moment, and I love it. I get up when I want to, I jog, I eat, I read, listen to music, watch tv with my brothers, hang around with daniela, go out with desi and sereina, help sereina in the kindergarden with all those dutch kids (their favorite game is called "knöffelfight". knöffels are stuffed animals. and you just throw them at each other. great name, great game.) In short, I fucking love my life right now. I thought I'd miss flying like hell, but hey, I dont. ok, I've only been off for two weeks, and soon leaving for brazil, so maybe thats the reason.

I'm also looking for stuff I could decorate my room with online. posters, pinboards and such. shame all these posters look so tacky. Yes, its true, I've got a room! yuhuu
and its so incredibly cheap and near to the trainstation and already furnished so I dont have to care about anything at all. perfect. I cant believe I'm actually going to study :-S It's weird in a way, I'm half dreading and half looking forward to it. but everything is going to turn out fine, just like always, right? (if daniela and I are going to survive brazil, that is)

It's over
[info]stoffifee
My year at Swiss airlines is over. funny feeling. I'm free! juhuu! maybe the dark circles will go away, maybe the bones in my feet will forgive and forget about the high heels, maybe I'll have time for stuff. of course I'm also sad, how could I not be? I've seen so many wonderful places, met so many amazing people. It seems almost weird to me to get up every day at the same time, to eat the same food, see the same people, walk the same streets, and, worst of all, shop in the same shops ;-) And my biggest worry is, if I'll be able to keep in touch with my friends. If they'll want to, and if I'll have the energy to.

I'm really looking forward to getting my numerus clausus results. whether I passed or not, at least I could start looking for a room and I'd know what I'm going to do in 2 months. But you know what I'm even more looking forward to, huuuuuuh? Seeing you guys on the first of august!

I cant get over how fast time goes! It effing FLIES
[info]stoffifee
Up until now, I haven't really been nervous for the numerus clausus. after all, my world wouldnt crash into pieces if I couldnt study medecine. but now, at 21:36 I start to feel a slight tingling in my stomach. might have to do with the fact that my study time doesnt quite reach the 22 hours recommended. 22 minutes would be more like it. also, everybody seems to think that I'll make it effortlessly, and I really dont want to disappoint anyone. but whatever.

on saturday, I'll have my very last longhaul flight. to tokiooooooooooo
oh in a way I'm so tired I just want to stay at home and relax but then I think "tokiooooooooooooooo" and I cant wait. I'm going to enjoy this last one :)

bonkers
[info]stoffifee
I'm ill. I hate being ill. maaan
and daniela's in stockholm! I'm so happy it worked out! but jealous too! imagine being in beautiful stockholm where the sun shines practically 24/7 now with a hot guy and loads of chocolate!

I'm not doing too much at the moment. yesterday I spent the evening with sereina, desi, lize, roman and a couple of other ones.
today I watched video clips with sämi the whole morning, all the while commenting about the songs, artists, their outfits and so on. was actually quite funny. I especially liked the song "bonkers" by dizzee rascal. I'm really into the line:
 
"some people think I'm bonkers, but I just think I'm free, man I'm just living my life, there's nothing crazy bout me"

then in the afternoon I watched "the boy in striped pjamas" with sereina and lize in a huge pile of blankets. god that movie's so good and sooo sad :( and tonight its playing darts with roman and lize.

today I really missed the feeling of being totally smitten with a book. like with harry potter and twilight and dark tower and thousand splendid suns and golden compass and many many more. any recommendations?

hope you guys are doing great and looking forward to seeing some of you tomorrow!

bröö
[info]stoffifee
I'm currently sitting around in the swiss headquarters, trying to kill time with facebook, tv and gummibärli. my flight leaves at 2235 and I'll be back by 0630 tomorrow. I dont want to go to work :(

On Sunday I flew to london to spend some time with my ex-aupair heidi. I was a little tired because I went out on Saturday. I had only wanted to go and have one drink and see some people, but in the end the whole place was crowded, the music was great and people were happy so I couldnt just go. Being with heidi was wonderful, I love her to bits. The only thing that was not so great was that she'd also known Jasmin. Actually, Jasmin had been her first friend here in engelberg. And when heidi asked about everyone in engelberg I didnt really know if or how to tell her, but in the end I did.

But still, I loved being with her and her flatmates -who are by the way all freaks. One morning, heidi had to work so I ventured out alone and went to see the "bodyworlds" exhibition. I dont know if you've heard about it, its really famous and really interesting- in a sick way. I didnt really feel like eating after it.
The rest of the time we spent talking and shopping and walking side-by-side and drinking cocktails just like in the good old times. funny that there's never any awkwardness between us like there sometimes is between friends who havent seen each other in a while (like with julia now, god I hate it). but maybe its because we lived together for over a year.

wwow svenja du hesch phz abbroche? ich find das tönt hammer mit dere nüe schuel! jaa me cha ja nie wüsse wos eim am schluss aneverschlat...wie sött me au, mier het ja no nie studiert bevor me öbis probiert. und s'geld bechunsch du natürlich- ich bi ab morn wieder es paar tag in engelberg.

see you guys soon
steffi

ps. OMG I knew I'd forgotten something. a white bra. now my red one is shining through my blouse gra. I'm already looking forward for the maitre de cabine to notice.

maybe baby
[info]stoffifee
Good afternoon girls
How are you doing? everyones busy busy busy as always I guess. puh and I'm busy too, I really thought I'd have time to write some updates but widler just called, apparently he's standing in front of my house. whatever I'll write more later...and back II'am. time goes so fast in the internet, doesnt it?

so what am I doing? I came back from Malaga on tuesday. the trip was quite ok, malaga is a nice city and granada is just beautiful, the weather was pleasant and the food tasty, but we just stressed each other out all the time. but thats what travelling with your family has to be like, I guess.

then yesterday I had 2 driving lessons and guess what I still suck at it. but it looks like I could have the licence by the end of july so keep your fingers crossed. in the afternoon I went shopping in lucerne with seri and daniela, then I had verkehrskurs, went for a drink with the guys from said course, incidentally met I pilot I get along with, then met up with desi, later sereina, verena, romiglia and so on and so forth. and today I was supposed to go to a place called schwändi with my father and grandmother who grew up there. but my fathers sick so instead I spent the day cooking and shopping and jogging and taking care of my father till he feels ok enough to go driving with me, go driving with him till he's sick again, taking care of him again etc.

and now I'm really wondering if I should go to karate or not. cuz actually I wanted to go to this party with daniela tonight but I dont know how long she's gonna be busy. and I'm also too lazy for karate. but I'm too fat to not go to karate. ach ach ach

and then, because I've got  time, I want to express my opinion on lady gaga to you. she rocks. I know how embarassing it is to say that, and I admit that her songs aren't classical masterpieces but at least she's fucking creative. and about whom else of the whole pop bunch can you say that?

but what the fuck, how can I even walk and laugh and talk about such unimportant stuff when a girl that I've know for all of my life has thrown herself off a cliff? and I didnt even notice she wasnt ok, altough I met her every other week on the street and said hi. life is so damn weird.

I'm not really driving the fast lane
[info]stoffifee

heya kiddos (remember how mrs v used to call us that?)
how are you guys doing?
my life is pretty easy-going at the moment, it's basically made of three components
1. spending quality time with daniela or sereina or both
2. driving
3. driving myself crazy

of course, I like number one best. engelberg is stunningly beautiful at the moment.
wanna see some examples?




And we always have a good time, no matter what we do.

number 2 is also ok...I dont panic a soon as I'm sitting in front of the wheel anymore, also I'm starting the Verkehrskurs tomorrow evening. looks like I'm gonna have that goddam license by september haha

but then number three, due to excessive amount of free time, after having spent hours with internet, painting, sports, reading and eating, I get so bored I start brooding over more or less important topics e.g. my future, my weight etc. which is not nice. not. nice.

speaking of not nice, I was in boston last week. dont get me wrong, boston was VERY nice- but there was this bakery shop where I wanted to buy a bagel with cream cheese. (the bagel was nice, too) but then:

-steffi: "could I have a bagel with cream cheese?"
-mean woman: "do you want it toasted?"
-s: ? (never had a toasted one- would it be better toasted? but wait its so hot outside, maybe better not toasted...hm hm.hmm) "I dont know!"
-mw: (eyeing the queue behind me) "what? do you want it toasted or NOT?2
-s: "uuh NOT TOASTED" (phew)

so I turn away to talk to my colleague masha while mean woman prepares my bagel and puts it into a white bag like 2 meters away from me. I thought she'd forgotten it so after a couple of minutes I ask

-s: "can I get my bagel now?"
-mw: "YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY, WOMAN, ITS THERE!"
-s: (shocked & intimidated) "I'm s..sorry "

but anyways the bagel was great, so that made up for mean woman.

I know this was random.
hope you guys are doing good :)

boys will be boys
[info]stoffifee
my brothers friends spend a lot of time at our house, especially silvan and chris. I love it when they're there because fun stuff happens around them all the time.

today, while we were sitting in the kitchen eating, toni and silvan were goofing around.
suddenly, toni asked silvan to pass him the orange juice. silvans throughs the whole pack at him and screams "fang de wixer".
the pack turns in the air, opens, and spills all over tonis head. god lifes good at times

(no subject)
[info]stoffifee
I'm sad. everybody is leaving.
at least my darling daniela is back :)

meet up?
[info]stoffifee



Whats wrong with this picture?
Yeah right, YOU are not in it.

It's such a pity we dont get to see each other more often! At the moment, I have to admit that I dont see a single one of my old best friends regularly.  we NEED to change that, therefore I think we should all go for dinner or usgang or something pretty soon. and I think that the osterwoche, with daniela coming back and all would be the perfect occasion. My suggestion is that we either go have dinner in yuki or in that little cute restaurant next to the eden. we could also ask info to come, as that biatch has been terribly hard to reach lately. military service should be forbidden.
monday tuesday wednesday?

we're being a little lazy here
[info]stoffifee
so I'm going to tell you a little anecdote from lisbon to fill the silence.

there are quite some beggars and homeless people in lisbon. seeing them always makes me sad, except this one time. 
one morning, I was walking with my mum on praca do comercio at the harbour of lisbon. the sun was shining, but there was
and awfully cold wind. in a corner, someone lay huddled in his sleeping bag. he was fully covered, you couldnt even see his head.
the middle of the sleeping bag was shaking vigorously.

mum: ooooh loook at that poor guy, he's so cold he's shivering!

after a long glance at said guy, I looked at her and said: " I dont think he's shivering, mum."

mum: "oh, I see"

haha

april april
[info]stoffifee

Mi1Apr09  
icbDo2 LX 0288ZRH22:45     
 Fr3 JNB09:1034310:25 
icbSa4 LX 0289JNB19:25     
 So5 ZRH06:1034310:45 
 Mo6   
 Di7   
 Mi8  
 Do9  
icbFr10 LX 0274ZRH12:30DLA17:55332  
    LX 0274DLA18:40NSI19:303327:15 
 Sa11 / 
icbSo12 LX 0275NSI20:55DLA21:40332  
    LX 0275DLA22:55     
 Mo13 ZRH06:253327:15 
 Di14   
 Mi15   
icbDo16 LX 0040ZRH13:10LAX16:4034312:30 
 Fr17 / 
icbSa18 LX 0041LAX19:20     
 So19 ZRH15:4534311:25 
 Mo20   
 Di21   
 Mi22   
icbDo23 LX 0040ZRH13:10LAX16:4034312:30 
 Fr24 / 
icbSa25 LX 0041LAX19:20     
 So26 ZRH15:4534311:25 
 Mo27   
 Di28   
 Mi29   
 Do30 

would be great to see you guys some time :)

when you where young
[info]stoffifee


 RULES:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.


IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
what goes around...comes around- justin timberlake
good one cuz its true haha

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
the end of the world- the cure
ooo kkeey I might be bad but thats exaggerated...
 
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
fix you- coldplay
I'll fix you honey :)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
surrender- billy talent
not true, I'm great today


WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
I'm a lady- santogold
hehe

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
feeling this- blink 182

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
links, rechts- gimma
hahaha katrin do you remember this concert???

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
sex on fire- kings of leon
I very much hope not, this is sick!

 

WHAT DO U THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
mein herz brennt- ramstein

WHAT IS 2 + 2?
into space- eskobar

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
when did your heart go missing- rooney
nooo my best friends got the biggest heart in the world


WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
I cant stop this feeling I got- razorlight


WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
seaside- the kooks

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
ay bay bay- hurricane chris
oh thats a good one haha


WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
viva la vida-coldplay

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
alles scho mal ghört- bligg ft emel
well thank you!

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST??
teen hearts beating faster- panic at the disco
;)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR??
books from boxes- maximo park


WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
everyone nose- n.e.r.d
I'm an open book...


WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
back to the start- razorlight

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
keep your hands of my girl- good charlotte
hum...my friends are my girls so this doesnt really make sense! unless I would want to keep my friends from masturbating haha ok I'll shut my mouth now its getting late


WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
when you where young- the killers


back in the game!
[info]stoffifee

I'm partly cooking and partly writing this soo I hope I dont set the house on fire!

As some of you may know, I had some pretty bad days last week. I havent felt as depressed in my whole life, I think. And for no reason actually. Of course, I'm often alone and at times hate my job, but its been like that for 8 month or so and it never made me feel like that.

however, I want to inform you that  I'm back to normal :)

New York, New York
After having spent 2 days in effretikon, meeting up with katrin, daniela and julia, I had a flight to jfk.
It was really easy, cuz we only had about 40 pax. good for us, bad for the company. in the evening I went with another fa and her mum on top of the empire state building. which cost 20 bucks but was really great. especially as we didnt have to stand in line. afterwards we had a coffee at starbucks and went to see mamma mia. I would have preferred the lion king or mary poppins, but whatever. it was kinda good, too, the only problem being that it took till 4 am swiss time. yawn. the next morning I awoke veery early. I dizzily took a shower and then realized that my hairdrier wasnt working. I called the reception to bring me a new one. 2 mins later the housekeeping lady knocks on my door. I take the drier, say thanks, close the door, plug it in, notice that this one doesnt work either, run after the lady. the moment I realize she's gone, I hear the door falling shut behind me. the key is inside.
yeah I think something similar happened to mister bean once. so I had to go to the reception and stood there barefoot on the marble floor with dripping hair. when I tell them the story, the only answer I get is: "do you have any identification?" WTF?
I didnt have any identification, obviously, so I had to wait for another 10 minutes for the security staff to let me into my room.



but the rest of the day was great: I had breakfast near central park (you guys know I have a thing for parks!).  a bagel with cream cheese and a far too sweet hot chocolate. I went shopping in macy's (big disappointment) and victoria's secret (no disappointment there!). the stuff at victorias secret was acutually affordable and so damn cute. the only thing that  gave me the creeps was a ditzy blonde bombshell named christina who showed me to my dressing room.
quote:
"whats your name, honey? stefanie, thats a nice name! I'm christina! I you have any problems or need another size, just call me, ok darling?" big grin
puh. later I had dinner at pret-a-manger, apparently one of the only places where you can get healthy and good food at reasonable prices. If you think you can just walk into a supermarket and buy some fruit, yoghurt or fresh bread you better think again. after eating I suddenly felt terribly exhausted so I went sleeping/ watching spongebob for 2 hours.

I spent the rest of day strolling through the streets around madison square park, near the flatiron building.
the sunlight and the hot guys coming up to me saying "how are you doing, beautiful?" where like balm for my depression-stricken soul. (I dont think that figure of speach exists in english, but you get me)

the flight back was also ok. the only annoying thing was my damn instructor who told me at 4 am, that yes, I did well, but I just didnt have "das gewisse etwas". I didnt "beam" in the cabin. I didnt show that I love my job. weeelll old biatch listen you only work every second month so I guess you can enjoy your little working time! and its not like this is the greatest job in the universe anyway. plus what kind of critics is that? not something I could do anything about ! well anywayy. the flight was long enough and when we wanted to land there was still a plane in our way so we had to do a socalled go-around which took another 20 mins.

the day after/ rock the ballet
after our landing in geneva I still had to go on the flight to zurich which took awfully long. I went for lunch with julia and daniela (loved it)
after that I slept for 2 hours and then went to see a dancing show with my mum. I especially loved the part where they were all dressed up as pimps, dancing with a walking stick in one hand and an inflatable doll in the other.
god was I happy to go to bed that night!

sämis birthday/ going out
the 14th was sämis  birthday, I brought him some donuts from nyc but unfortunately they were all stale and dry :( I went to a flea market with my mum haha and later hung out with widler and stephi. then we had sämis surprise party that toni had organised. all his friends were there and we screamed "surprise" like in the movies :)
then widler called me and when I tried to call back I only got the combox. so I figured he must be in the cc, where in fact he wasnt but roman was there so I chatted with him for some time. then we went to spindle and duuuuuuude the party was on! we even had to wait in line and it was totally crammed! I loved it! the only problem for me was that everybody was smoking. i hate it. I couldnt breathe. and this lizzy or lise or whats her face squeezed her cigi out on my hand. she uttered a sorry, but still, its nothing but dangerous to smoke while dancing when the place is that crowded.
today I slept till 2 pm which has seriously never happened to me before. I went for a coffee with sereina, which I enjoyed a lot and later cooked for my bros. now I'm off to meet stephanie kürsteiner and then I should still call info!

so now you're officially updated!
except for one thing: you guys have to check out www.fmylife.com
its hilarious!
 


depressed states of mind
[info]stoffifee
is obviously one of the main adverse effects of the pill, apart from the weight gain. so now I know whats up with me. this makes it sooo much easier, really. I'm actually feeling quite good right now, after I met up with katrin yesterday and with julia and daniela today. the other, real daniela helped me a lot, too. My mum wanted me to go to a psychologist. humph yes. what I need is a hug not some abt-verschnitt asking me questions. But whatever, worst is over 
 I'm even starting to look forward to tomorrows flight to new york. although I'm also a bit intimidated by the idea. I know  a bit of asia and africa, and europe of course, but the US will be something totally new and different for me. so lets see how it goes...Actually I never planned to go to the US, I mean a lot of people do and its the dream of many, but it never really attracted me. of course now I dont get to choose and I dont complain.

I watched atonement with keira knightley today, its a pretty good, funny, sexy, confusing and very sad movie. not like a "must have seen" flick, but its worth watching.

hope you are all fine wherever you are & see you soon

news from the land of the bored
[info]stoffifee
puh I think I could actually measure my degree of boredom by the amount and quality of tv I'm watching. dont get me wrong, I believe there still is good tv, but today I must have missed it somehow. paris hiltons new bff- pathetic. thats the moment when I know I'm not feeling well.
even keeping up with the kardishians was much better.

I'm sitting in my bathtub right now (yes I know I'm risking the life of this laptop) and although the temperature is excactly right and the foam is fluffy, I still feel shitty. ah maybe I shouldnt have eaten that whole pack of cookies, now I feel completely nauseous. they lost my luggage in berlin and this guy should show up with it anytime soon. I took the risk of taking a bath, just hope he's not gonna be here in the next 15 minutes. It wouldnt make such a big difference though, the whole appartement is already wet and foamy from that time when I ran to fetch my phone. ach
I know, my depressions arent very interesting so I'll tell you what was up the last couple of days. I got up insanely early every day and worked till around noon. then on friday I went to genevas autosalon (pink and hillary were supposed to be in geneva, but I didnd spot neither) with my friend marco and eating out with the pilots in the evening. was good. yesterday I was in the city eating pizza with two fas. good too. Ah, btw,  I had my flight attendant perfomance check and did pretty good. wasnt much of a challenge anyway, we had so few passengers. Actually I only started to feel bad when I was back in the appartment, and alone. I feel like I should have gone home. but how, with my goddam suitcase being in berlin? and it wouldnt have made such a big difference, anyway. paris sucks as much in engelberg as she does in effretikon. whats wrong with me???

I'm going to new york on wednesday. I might see katrin tomorrow. I might see julia& daniela. I've such a good life but  I just cant appreciate it. why? Its like I'm back in the self-conscious teenie days. this has been going on for more than a week now and it needs to stop. I really need a change in my life. I need to go out again. I need to do more sports and eat less. so help me god.

god I'm so boreeeeed
[info]stoffifee
I shouldnt be.
Yesterday I had my first driving lesson with my mum. we started practising on that parking space near the soccer field. later on I drove from there to eienwäldli, then back and to horbis. I'm so proud :) although my mum got a little shaky at times haha
also I met up with widler, felix and info the day before yesterday.
but else I'm really just sitting around eating. yeah scrubs is fun and yeah "world with out end" is one hell of a good book, but I feel like something new has to start. sämi is sick and guido and irene working, toni, sereina, stephi at school. I go back to work today but dont want that either. although its only shourthaul and although I get to go to the autosalon genf or cinema with a good friend tomorrow afternoon.
I'm bored and lazy and unhappy and afraid that this could turn into a real depression if I dont start doing anything soon.

I'm off on the 9th and 10th and thinking of staying in zurich then. I could meet up with julia and daniela, maybe sarah, too and who knows, maybe I'd even get to see katrin or anna.

I'm on vacation from the 20th onwards and havent planned anything. I couldnt stand 2 weeks like that. a friend of mine is going to a surf camp in spain, and hey, maybe I'm going to do that aswell. then again,  it costs a lot. I dont know. I'm driving myself crazy.

thinking about it, it may be that I'm getting sick. I have a sore throat and feel kinda hot. this is not good, I've got a feeling I have my perfomance check tomorrow...

if you've got nothing to do
[info]stoffifee
check out this:

monty python - they are geniuses


the view from the top
it's an ok comedy about flight attendants filled with stereotypes, but some of it is true acutally